No One Is Ever Really Gone
by ericaj318
Summary: This story is an AU of 'Second Chances' where Jill never fell for Harry but always longed for Wells/Thawne. It'll start with my flashbacks to her time with him in my previous story before moving to her new story where she finally finds Wells/Thawne again in season five.
1. Chapter 1

**Season 1**

"_You can walk?" Jill asked as she was waiting for Harrison in his home. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his tone defensive. He clearly hadn't been expecting her._

"_It looked like you had a rough day and I wanted to surprise you with dinner but you haven't answered my question," she said, prying into her boyfriend's miraculous moment. _

_Harrison shook his head, taking off his glasses, "I can only do it sometimes which is why I haven't made it public knowledge. I didn't want the team to get too optimistic in case it doesn't stick," he explained. Jill had no idea what a huge lie that had been in that moment. If only she could've seen the truth instead of celebrating with him that night. _

"_How could you do all these terrible things?" Jill asked Harrison as he sat in one of their jail cells. _

"_I've only done what I had to in order to go home," he defended his actions. _

_Jill shook her head, "Why even start a relationship with me if you never intended to stay in this time? Was it all a game for you? I gave you everything," she declared, her heart breaking at learning who he really was. _

_Harrison walked to the front of his cell, his hand on the glass reaching toward her, "I never meant to fall in love."_

"_You knew he could walk and you didn't think to say anything?" Eddie yelled as they all had just been played by Eobard Thawne. _

"_I believed what he told me. Why would I assume he wasn't even really who he said he was? I'm sorry guys but I promise you that I'm just as shocked," Jill lamented, "I thought he and I had a real future together."_

_Harrison's voice entered the room once more where they thought they'd trapped him, "You never had a real future with me and I'm sorry I misled you. To the rest of you, I want to go home and no one will get in my way."_

_Jill looked to Barry who seemed stunned. She didn't know what to do other than walk away and mourn alone. They were all mad but she didn't know any of his secrets other than the fact that he could walk._

"_Do you ever do anything anyone tells you?" Harrison asked as he finished giving his press conference admitting his fault in the reactor accident. _

"_You mean when you told me not to come to the one thing that can actually use my expertise?" Jill asked giving him a stern look. _

_Harrison shook his head, "I don't need this to be spinned in any way. I just need to admit my involvement and you only see the good in me so you would have found some way to make me look good when I'm at complete fault."_

_She looked at him, her face tender, "It's my job as both your girlfriend and you PR specialist to see the best in you. It just means I'm damn good at my job. Don't leave me out again, got it?" _

"_If I take you to dinner, am I forgiven?" he asked, making a pouty face. _

_Jill leaned down kissed him quickly on the lips, "Yes."_

"_You aren't afraid of anyone are you?" he said with a laugh._

"_Hartley has escaped!" Caitlin and Jill heard Cisco through comm system. "Caitlin, stay here," Jill said, panicked, "I have to find Harrison."_

_Jill raced through the halls of Star-Labs looking for Harrison and when she found him, he was on the floor holding himself up with his elbows. "Harrison, what happened? What if someone else had found you and realized you were able to walk this far?" she asked, dropping to her knees to help him. _

_Harrison sighed, his breathing labored by his position, "I thought I could help. I didn't care in the moment if anyone found out. My legs gave out as I explained. Will you get my chair?" he requested, looking embarrassed. _

_Jill nodded and got up to go find his chair. Once she had it, she pushed it back to him where she saw Hartley standing over him. _

"_Get away from him," Jill said, her tone dangerous. _

_Hartley looked in her direction, "I'm not going to hurt him today," he looked back at Harrison, "Tell me, am I still your guy?" With that, he disappeared through the halls._

_Harrison sighed as he pushed himself up and climbed into his wheelchair. "You need to call Barry," she said as she walked away from him to check on the others._

"_You must be crazy," she'd heard Joe yell, clearly frustrated about something. _

_Then she heard Barry, "It's our only choice. No one else can help her. We have to call a temporary truce."_

_Jill looked up to see Caitlin walking her way, "Do you have any injuries I need to look at?'" she asked her. Jill shook her head and when Caitlin tried to touch her she jumped up. _

"_Look," Barry began, "our fight needs to take the backseat to this situation." Caitlin agreed, "We should at least try. She won't let any of us get close to see if she's ok. She could have any number of injuries. She's been whispering his name in the corner."_

_Joe sighed as he gave Barry his blessing. _

_Jill remembered sliding back down as she'd been. She had no concept of time but she knew the moment Harrison had arrived or Eobard. _

"_What happened to her?" she heard him ask as he looked down to see her huddled in the corner. _

_Barry shook his head, "We don't really know. She was held captive by the Trickster and we don't know what he did with her but when he gave her back he said that he'd had 'fun' with her."_

_Eobard sighed, "What am I supposed to be able to do?" Caitlin spoke, "She's been crying for you. We believe she'll let you close enough to see if there's anything seriously wrong with her."_

_Eobard nodded as he walked over and crouched down in front of her, "Hey baby," he said softly, "I'm here. Can I see if you're hurt?" The whole group was so amazed by the tenderness he still had when Jill was involved. _

_Jill looked up and her eyes met his. She reached forward and he knew what she wanted. Eobard wrapped his arms around her and as he held her, he felt up and down her body for any sign of injury. He found nothing. _

"_It's all mental," he said, looking back to the group. Caitlin nodded, "We should sedate her then. She should be much calmer when she wakes up. That way we can get Eobard out of here."_

_Eobard lifted her up into his arms, "I never asked to come here. Sedation will not help her. I'll take her with me and when she's better I'll return her. Did you at least catch the son of a bitch?" he asked, clearly very upset that she'd gotten hurt the moment he had abandoned them because his true motivations were known. _

_Barry nodded, "He's locked up. Take good care of her," he said and with that Eobard flashed out of the room with Jill in his arms. _

**Season 2 **

_Journal Entry - Jill _

I never got over Harrison Wells, or Eobard Thawne, whatever you want to call him. For a fleeting moment, I thought I might be able to move on with Harry but I realized he was not from our Earth and he'd never stay forever. It would have been doomed from the very beginning.

So, I stuck around and helped Team Flash in any way I could, which was never as much as I wanted. We defeated the bad guy again, another speedster faster than Barry. Barry even went back in time to get help from Wells/Thawne but I couldn't go because I feared I may never come back.

I've grown even closer to Caitlin as we both lost the men we loved, even if mine was not the best person in the world. But we understand each other because of what we've lost and that's brought us closer.

Harry left once we saved his daughter and defeated Zoom as I'd predicted which caused a sense of relief at avoiding a possible romantic relationship, even though the chemistry was present. Once he was gone, I went back to helping Team Flash never really thinking of myself as a member.

I spend every day hoping, somehow, Wells will return. It would mean I'd have to leave the team because what he has done is unforgivable but it would be worth it to have him back.

**Season 4**

Jill sat in S.T.A.R Labs after Iris and Barry's wedding was crashed by Nazis. Everything had gone haywire but she could never have expected what would happen next. Felicity, Kara, and Iris were in another room but Jill had chosen to keep to herself.

She looked up and saw Oliver walking towards her, side by side, with the Reverse Flash. The sudden presence of Thawne, once again wearing Wells' face, caused her to slowly stand on her feet even though her knees were shaky.

Wells saw her and must have told Oliver he'd meet up with him because he made a beeline for Jill.

"Long time no see," he said, his voice the same as she'd remembered the last time she saw him before his face had changed.

She closed her eyes for a moment, opening them to make sure what she was seeing was real. She wanted to run into is arms but she knew better. "The Legends said you were gone for good," Jill finally spoke, her voice weaker then she'd wanted.

Wells shook his head, "I'll never really be gone but seeing you makes me glad I chose this face," he took a few steps closer to her, "I've missed you. I never really known what love felt like until you but I also know we don't have a future together."

Jill moved closer to him until they were mere inches apart, "I'd give all of this up to be with you," she confessed, wishing she could be stronger but she'd hoped for this moment for such a long time.

He closed the gap between them and cupped her cheek in his hand before he leaned forward to place his lips against hers. Jill felt a million emotions during their kiss, all of them making it harder to say goodbye, which she knew was coming.

He pulled back and looked tenderly down upon her, "Stay out of our way and safe. I don't want anything happening to you," he noticed the tears beginning to well up in her eyes, "No tears, baby, you'll see me again. Someday, we can have that future but now is not the time." He leaned in and kissed her once more before he motioned for her to hide.

Jill gave a simple nod as he left the room using his speed and she moved into a room deeper within the one she was in, feeling the heartbreak from three years earlier all over again.


	2. Chapter 2

Jill recovered from the loss of Wells again, as much as she could anyway, as she and Team Flash embarked on a new year and a new villain, this time joined by Iris and Barry's daughter from the future, Nora.

They'd also found another Wells to help them and Jill began to notice he seemed to suspect Nora was up to something, or there was more to her visit then what she said. Watching Sherloque made Jill want to approach Nora herself to see what she could discover.

Jill found Nora in the new lounge, alone, writing in her journal so she took a seat next to her.

"Hey Nora," Jill began, "Listen, I am so glad you're here but have you noticed Sherloque is really suspicious of you?"

Nora didn't seem sure how to answer so she gave Jill a shrug in response causing Jill to up her game.

Jill gave a small smile before she spoke, "You know I've been here with this team since even before your Dad got his speed, is there anything you want to know about our past?"

"Did you work for S.T.A.R. Labs before the explosion?" Nora asked, her curiosity activated.

Jill nodded, "I did. I was the communications specialist and I was actually in a serious relationship with Harrison Wells who turned out to be Eobard Thawne," she shared, watching Nora's face take on a strange expression at her revelation. "I know that name is familiar to you because of his history with this team, especially your Dad," Jill explained hoping to get Nora to open up. If Sherloque was looking into her and her journal, Jill had a strange suspicion that somehow Thawne was involved.

Before Nora could reply, Cisco called a meeting in the Cortex. She looked at Jill as they stood to go meet with the others, "Can we talk more later? I have a lot of questions about that time and I don't think my Dad will open up," causing Jill to nod in response.

With new information on Cicada, Nora proposed that she and Barry go back in time to three different instances in order to gather supplies to render the dagger useless. No time passed while Barry and Nora were gone and before Jill could attempt to speak to Nora again, Team Flash was prepared to put their plan to stop Cicada in motion.

While the members of the team with powers out executing their plan, Jill found Sherloque sitting at Cisco's computer in his workshop. She grabbed a chair and rolled next to him to find him using the computer to decipher Nora's journal.

"What are you up to?" she asked, curiosity lining her voice. She was amazed at how used to being around men wearing Wells' face she'd become.

He turned and glanced at her briefly, "I am trying to see what Nora West-Allen has been up to. She has been too clever with her ideas and I believe she has been working with someone. I just have yet to figure out who," he responded as he stared at the screens before him.

Jill nodded, "Do you think its someone from her future? Is she sending that person messages in this code? It would have to be a speedster because this language only exists within the speed force," she shared what she knew and suspected so far.

"Do you have a theory?" Sherloque asked in reply, "You certainly have watched this team for a long time so if anyone could come up with the answer without translating this notebook, it's you."

She looked away gathering her thoughts and attempting to suppress the small glimmer of hope she'd let herself feel, "I don't know how this would be possible but he's managed to evade destruction over and over again," she spoke so softly Sherloque almost couldn't hear her.

"Who are you speaking of?" he inquired, his own curiosity at max capacity. He could almost see her mind working out all the ideas rushing through her.

Jill had felt little suggestions to her hypothesis since Nora had arrived but, in this moment, it all made sense. "She's getting help from Eobard Thawne. She's working for him. He is the only person Nora wouldn't reveal as an ally to Barry because the hatred Barry has for Thawne runs so deep," she explained.

Sherloque raised an eyebrow, "You have some kind of history with Thawne, don't you?"

"I'm not surprised at all that you deduced that," she answered before explaining, "I was in a relationship with him when he was fake Wells long before Barry even became the Flash. There is a part of me that would go with him in a heartbeat if he offered that to me," she revealed, saying those words for the first time out loud in front of someone other than Thawne.

"What do you think we should do with this knowledge?" Sherloque questioned, almost thinking out loud, "Barry Allen will not be happy to learn of this," he added as he stood and began to pace the room.

She leaned back in her seat, "Let me try to speak with Nora and see if she'll bring me to him. Maybe I can find out what his plan is and then we can decide what to do."

Sherloque nodded, gesturing approval with hand in the air before him.


	3. Chapter 3

Nora and the others returned later that night without only somewhat successful in their mission and Jill made sure to get the young speedster alone. She found Nora alone in the lounge as she usually was when she was writing in her journal or thinking.

"Nora, do you want to continue that discussion we were having earlier?" Jill asked, announcing her presence.

Nora looked up, wondering why Jill was suddenly so interested in them getting to know each other better, "Honestly, I got a lot of information from my journey back in time. More than I bargained for," she changed the subject, "Hey, have you seen my notebook?"

Jill took a deep breath wondering how to answer the question. This was the moment of truth and a very good opportunity for her to try and get Nora to bring her to Thawne, if her theory was correct. She made a choice and spoke, "Sherloque took it and I found him with it while you and the others were gone. I told you my suspicions about him. But," she held up her finger when Nora started to interrupt, "That's not what's important right now. I have a question and I want an honest answer," she stopped to allow Nora to decide on her own response to everything Jill said.

Nora sat quietly for what felt like ages as she thought over her position on what Jill presented. Finally, she gave a simple nod in reply, "I will answer whatever questions you ask. But, please keep my secret because my parents won't understand," she pleaded, her youth showing.

Jill took another deep breath, "Are you working with Eobard Thawne or is he the one who has been helping you?"

"Yes, I found out I was a speedster after Godspeed, the first speedster we'd heard of in years, hit me with lightning. But, it wasn't him that gave me powers, as you know. So, I went to the only other speedster for help. Eobard Thawne is on death row in Iron Heights. He wears the face of Harrison Wells as he did when you first met him," Nora explained before waiting to see how Jill would react to her information.

"I'll keep your secret," Jill responded, speaking low, "But, I do have a request from you."

Nora was unsure of what Jill could want but she gestured for the young woman to continue.

Jill took another deep breath as butterflies filled her stomach at the mere thought of seeing him. "Will you take me to see him?" she asked, holding her breath as she awaited an answer.

Nora started to shake her head, "Why would you want to see him? He is a monster. I never realized how evil he truly is until my Father told me what he's done," she was exasperated.

Jill sighed, "I know," she sat down next to Nora, "And, I wish I could condemn him like Barry has and rid him from my life's desires. But I can't. Please, Nora…"

"Ok, but you have to promise not to say anything," Nora agreed, "If you do. Everything will be ruined," her tone was filled with the sound of begging and desperation.

Jill understood desperation because it was how she felt for Thawne, at least with his Wells' face. "I promise," she replied, "I can't say the same for Sherloque but I'll do my best to convince him to stay quiet. Let's go," Jill urged.

Nora nodded and grasped Jill tightly before phasing through a wall into Thawne's jail cell.

Once Jill got over the initial shock the feeling of going through a wall gave her, she took in the sight before her. She saw Thawne standing with his back to them behind a wall of glass. His hair had begun to turn blonde in some places which accentuated the yellow parts of his prison jumpsuit.

Jill began to move forward but she was stopped by Nora's arm. Jill looked at the girl to see she had a finger to her lips while her eyes gestured toward the guard who had just entered the room. Jill gave an acknowledging nod as they waited for the guard to finish with his purpose. What Jill witnessed next caused a stinging pain in her heart and her stomach to drop. At some point, Jill felt Nora almost holding her up.

Thawne turned and faced the glass before he got down on his knees and stretched out his arms. The guard made some comment about repenting before he switched on red lightning surges pulsing directly into Eobard causing him to yell out in pain, over and over again.

When the guard finished torturing Thawne, he left the room while Thawne lowered his arms and leaned forward in an attempt to catch his breath and regain his bearings.

Jill steadied herself by taking deep breaths as the two women moved toward the glass to reveal themselves to Thawne. For the first time, Jill saw the anger on Nora's face and realized her trip to the past had taught her things about Thawne that she hadn't known.

"Little runner," Thawne said in a gasp, "You don't look pleased to see me. Who have you brought…" He was stopped in his tracks as he took in the sight of Jill immediately flooded with flashes of their torrid history.

"Eobard," Jill spoke softly as she reached up and placed her hand to the glass while his hand mimicked hers, "You don't have much time left. I truly hoped we'd have our happy ending but it was always too much to wish for," she said, her voice full of regret.

Thawne looked through the glass at Jill longingly, wishing he could say something that might comfort her. He was suddenly aware of other parts of his body awakening at the sight of this woman who was the love of his life but he ignored them.

"Hey baby," he whispered, "Don't lose hope. You never know," he added hoping to ease her mind wishing he could get through the glass and pull her into his embrace. He moved his attention to Nora, "What's on your mind? You either trust me or you don't. There's no in between," he asked her.

Nora felt a change of heart as she watched Thawne interact with Jill reigniting her faith that he'd changed and was truly trying to change. She shook her head, "I'm not sure I can't trust you but I'm still willing to work with you. I want to believe there's good in you, somewhere," she explained echoing the thoughts running through Jill's mind.

Thawne's lips curled into a smile that Jill couldn't quite decipher, "Let me prove it to you." He looked back at Jill, "Will you come back and visit me, alone?" The way his eyes glared straight into her sent chills down her spine.

"If Nora will bring me back," Jill answered, her voice still not above a whisper because of the emotions running through her, overwhelming her.

Nora nodded with a slight hesitance, "I will but we might have a problem," she began, "Sherloque, our current Wells, is suspicious of me and he's a detective so he's good at finding answers. What do you think I, or maybe we should do?"

Thawne turned away from the two women and thought about a solution to their possible predicament. Finally, he turned and before he spoke, he sent a wink Jill's way. "If he's a detective then you have to find something to distract him with. I can't give you that answer but if you pay attention, I'm sure you can figure it out," he paused and locked eyes with Jill, "I hope you'll be back soon."

Jill gave a small nod as Nora grabbed her arm and sped them back to Jill's time, both women with a lot on their minds.


End file.
